He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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