it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
