What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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