I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
