Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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