I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You need Xanax blowdarts
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
