my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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