My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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