No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My ass is underappreciated
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
