he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
They are going to name an STD after you.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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