What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
