Midget sex pt 2 tonight
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
