So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
