question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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