and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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