i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
