i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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