The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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