In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
