I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was like giving head to a cactus.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
