i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
