I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the day after is always just damage control
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
