I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
