Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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