if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you remember whose house we're in?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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