My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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