O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
