Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
