she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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