It's Friday. Sex?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
