I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
