"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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