I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
