Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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