Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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