Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
this will be a night to untag.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
