i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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