i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
