I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
