try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
