whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
