Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
