There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
