Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You were trust falling into bushes
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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