their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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