I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
time to smoke my breakfast
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
