I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
