I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
