They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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