batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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