he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
