we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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