Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
