I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
