I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
