When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
