I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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